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Old May 22nd, 2005, 05:54 AM
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Cruznut2 Cruznut2 is offline
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Default Childrens Science Exam Answers

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
(Makes sense to me!)

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. (Well, duh)

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
moon, and nature hates a vacuum I forget where the sun joins in
this fight. ( A little knowledge is a funny thing!)

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
adultery. (Probably!)

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death. (That's for sure!)

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax
and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity
contains the five bowels, A, E,I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

This is my personal favorite:
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.“
---Mark Twain

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Old May 22nd, 2005, 08:14 AM
Don Smith
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Childrens Science Exam Answers

I cannot stop laughing. Great stuff. I once asked who Fidel Castro was to third graders, and several responded, "a ballerina." I have no clues as to why that answer, but I do not think we, as adults, are supposed to know.
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Old May 22nd, 2005, 10:23 AM
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rollerdonna rollerdonna is offline
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Caribou River, Nova Scotia
Posts: 17,740
Default Re: Childrens Science Exam Answers

I work with kids, and they never cease to amaze me! Thanks for the laughs CruzNut2!


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